Sitting outside of my daughter's ballet class (of course, I'm the only man here) and I'm reminded of a recent argument I had with my daughter's mother. Well, I'm not sure if you could call trading messages through BBMessenger an argument...but you get the point... Anyway, most of this conversation was just pure garbage but the only thing that stuck with me was that she called me a 'Deadbeat Father'. Now what's funny about that isn't the absurdity of the comment, which we'll get to in a minute, but the fact that the comment left me absolutely speechless...and for those that know me, you know that this is a remarkable feat...
So what qualifies me as 'Deadbeat'?
* I filed for divorce, moved out, and, subsequently, have moved on with my life.
* As a condition of that divorce not only do I pay child support (which I do gladly), but I maintain mortgage payments on the house where you and my daughter live until July, 2011...basically, you get alimony.
* I spend every, alternating, weekend with my daughter.
* I take my daughter to breakfast and school one time a week...and have done so for the last two school years.
* my child support payments are applied directly to the cost of my daughter's tuition and these ballet lessons (which I'm attending, currently)...so I pay for her education and her extracurricular activities.
And yet, I'm a 'deadbeat'....
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I'm a product of divorce. After my parents divorced and Moms moved us (I have a younger brother) to Houston, my father refused to pay child support for 5 years. Being the latch-key kids that we were, I remember coming home from school to no lights more than once. My mother never complained. In fact, she never said a disparaging word about our father in our presence. Between 1987-1994, we spent 2 summers and one Christmas holiday with our father in California--only because his wife sent for us. I played football in high school and college AND 5 years of semi-pro...my father has never seen me play a down. My daughter is 6....and has never met her Grandfather. Now that may be as much my fault as is his...but I digress.
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Looking at this small sampling of differences between my father and I, tell me again why I'm the deadbeat....
I've been fortunate to have fallen in love with my best friend and am looking forward to the life we'll build together. So I'm guessing. Since she (the ex-wife) still has a bit of bitterness in her system (recently snatching our daughter out of a car preventing her from attending my family reunion...all because my girlfriend was coming along....yes, a baby mama drama episode) maybe that's why I'm a 'deadbeat'. If that's the case, then to quote Redman: "I'LL BE DAT!"
And there it is....
So what qualifies me as 'Deadbeat'?
* I filed for divorce, moved out, and, subsequently, have moved on with my life.
* As a condition of that divorce not only do I pay child support (which I do gladly), but I maintain mortgage payments on the house where you and my daughter live until July, 2011...basically, you get alimony.
* I spend every, alternating, weekend with my daughter.
* I take my daughter to breakfast and school one time a week...and have done so for the last two school years.
* my child support payments are applied directly to the cost of my daughter's tuition and these ballet lessons (which I'm attending, currently)...so I pay for her education and her extracurricular activities.
And yet, I'm a 'deadbeat'....
******************************
I'm a product of divorce. After my parents divorced and Moms moved us (I have a younger brother) to Houston, my father refused to pay child support for 5 years. Being the latch-key kids that we were, I remember coming home from school to no lights more than once. My mother never complained. In fact, she never said a disparaging word about our father in our presence. Between 1987-1994, we spent 2 summers and one Christmas holiday with our father in California--only because his wife sent for us. I played football in high school and college AND 5 years of semi-pro...my father has never seen me play a down. My daughter is 6....and has never met her Grandfather. Now that may be as much my fault as is his...but I digress.
******************************
Looking at this small sampling of differences between my father and I, tell me again why I'm the deadbeat....
I've been fortunate to have fallen in love with my best friend and am looking forward to the life we'll build together. So I'm guessing. Since she (the ex-wife) still has a bit of bitterness in her system (recently snatching our daughter out of a car preventing her from attending my family reunion...all because my girlfriend was coming along....yes, a baby mama drama episode) maybe that's why I'm a 'deadbeat'. If that's the case, then to quote Redman: "I'LL BE DAT!"
And there it is....
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